How to Get a Divorce: Step-by-Step Process (2026)

Updated: 2026-10-11

Quick answer: To get a divorce, you confirm you meet your state’s residency requirement, file a divorce petition with the family court in your county, have your spouse formally served, exchange financial disclosures, settle or try the open issues (property, support, and custody), and then have a judge sign the final judgment once any waiting period has passed. An uncontested divorce can finish in a few months; a contested one commonly takes a year or more.

Legal disclaimer: This article is general information, not legal advice. Divorce procedure, forms, fees, and deadlines are set by each state and sometimes each county. For decisions about your own case, check your court’s self-help center or talk to a family-law attorney licensed in your state.

Every state’s court website explains divorce as if its process were unique. The labels do change: a petition in one state is a complaint in another, and the final order might be called a judgment, a decree, or a dissolution. The sequence underneath does not change. Every divorce in the country moves through the same seven steps, in the same order.

This guide walks through those steps once, in plain language, with California’s court rules as the running example because they are the most fully documented. At the end, you will find the official divorce page for the ten most populous states, so you can switch to your own state’s forms with the whole map already in your head.

Table of Contents

• What are the steps to get a divorce?
• Step 1: Do you meet the residency and waiting-period rules?
• Step 2: What grounds and what kind of divorce?
• Step 3: How do you file the divorce petition?
• Step 4: How do you serve divorce papers on your spouse?
• Step 5: What happens while the divorce is pending?
• Step 6: How do you settle, or what happens at trial?
• Step 7: How is a divorce finalized?
• How long does a divorce take?
• How much does a divorce cost?
• Can you get a divorce without a lawyer?
• What changes when you have children?
• Where do you find your state’s divorce forms?
• Frequently Asked Questions

What are the steps to get a divorce?

There are seven steps, and every state uses the same order: check eligibility, choose your grounds and route, file the petition, serve your spouse, handle the pending-case requirements, resolve the issues, and finalize. The table below is the whole process on one screen. Each row links to the section that explains it.

California’s self-help guide groups these into four parts: start the case, share financial information, make decisions, and finalize. The guide states plainly that a divorce in California takes at least 6 months to finish. That six-month floor is a waiting period, not a paperwork estimate, and most states have some version of it.

Step 1: Do you meet the residency and waiting-period rules?

Before you file, check two rules: how long you must have lived in the state, and whether your state requires a separation period or a post-filing waiting period. If you file too early, the court can dismiss the case and you start over, paying the filing fee again.

Residency decides whether your state’s courts can hear the case at all. In California, one spouse must have lived in the state for the last 6 months and in the current county for the last 3 months. Other states set different periods, and a few set none, so check your own state’s rule before you assume six months applies.

Timing rules come in two different kinds, and articles often confuse them:

• A separation period means you live apart for a set time before you have grounds to divorce. North Carolina, for example, requires a year apart before an absolute divorce.
• A waiting period means a set amount of time must pass after you file before the judgment can be entered. California’s is six months; Washington’s is 90 days; Florida’s is 20 days.

Our marriage separation guide has a state-by-state table of both clocks, including which states make separation optional.

If you do not meet the residency rule yet, you have two choices: wait, or, in some states, file for a legal separation first and convert it later. California’s self-help guide lists that second option directly. Our comparison of legal separation vs. divorce explains when that path makes sense and when it means paying for two cases.

Step 2: What grounds and what kind of divorce?

Your grounds are the legal reason for the divorce, and nearly every divorce today is filed on no-fault grounds. No-fault means you are not alleging wrongdoing; you are telling the court the marriage is over. Fault grounds such as adultery still exist in some states, but proving them costs time and money and in most states changes little about the outcome.

The second choice is whether the case will be uncontested or contested. Uncontested means you and your spouse agree, in writing, on every issue the court has to decide. Contested means at least one issue is open. That single distinction drives most of the cost and time difference between divorces.

Our explainer on types of divorce covers how grounds, contested status, and process route combine, plus the simplified “summary” procedures available to some couples without children.

One California development is worth knowing about. Starting January 1, 2026, spouses can file a joint petition for divorce or legal separation together, listed as Petitioner 1 and Petitioner 2, instead of one spouse filing against the other. It requires both spouses to agree on all final terms by the end of the case, and it does not shorten the six-month wait.

Step 3: How do you file the divorce petition?

You file a petition (called a complaint in some states) with the family court in the county where you or your spouse lives, and you pay a filing fee or ask the court to waive it. Filing opens the case and starts the clock on most deadlines.

The petition asks for basic facts: both names, the date of marriage and of separation, whether there are children, and what you want the court to decide about property, support, and custody. In California the core forms are the Petition (form FL-100) and the Summons (form FL-110). The court’s guide to filling out divorce forms walks through each one.

Most courts let you file in person or by mail, and many now accept electronic filing. Keep at least two copies of everything you file: one for you and one to serve on your spouse.

If you cannot afford the filing fee, every state has a way to ask the court to waive it. California’s fee waiver page explains the request, and other states use a similar application, often called an affidavit of indigency or a request to proceed without paying fees. Ask the clerk for the form when you file.

Step 4: How do you serve divorce papers on your spouse?

After filing, your spouse must be formally served with copies of the papers, and you are not allowed to deliver them yourself. In California, the server must be 18 or older and not part of the case. That can be a friend or relative, a professional process server, or, in some areas, the county sheriff.

The server then completes a proof of service, which in California is form FL-115, and you file it with the court. The court will not move forward until that proof is on file. If your spouse is willing, many states also allow service by mail with a signed acknowledgment, which avoids a stranger knocking on the door.

Service starts your spouse’s deadline to respond. In California, the respondent usually has 30 days after being served to file a Response (form FL-120). If no response comes in time, the filing spouse can ask the court to proceed by default.

A default does not stop the divorce. It means the court decides the case based on what the filing spouse asked for, without the other spouse’s input. Our guide to contested, uncontested, and default divorce explains what a default can and cannot give the filing spouse.

Step 5: What happens while the divorce is pending?

While the case is open, three things usually happen: automatic rules take effect, either spouse can ask for temporary orders, and both spouses exchange financial disclosures.

Automatic rules. Many states impose standard restraining orders as soon as the case starts. California prints them on the Summons, and its court guide tells filers to read the Summons carefully because it includes rules you must follow as soon as your case starts. The court describes these rules as stopping either spouse from selling property, moving the children out of state, or making big changes to money or insurance while the case is pending.

Temporary orders. Either spouse can ask the judge to set interim terms: who stays in the home, a temporary parenting schedule, and temporary child or spousal support. These orders often shape the final outcome, because they set the status quo the judge later sees.

Financial disclosure. Both spouses must share complete financial information. California calls this financial disclosure and requires the petitioner to complete preliminary disclosures within 60 days after filing the Petition, and the respondent within 60 days after filing the Response. You exchange the documents with your spouse and file only a proof that you did. Hiding assets is a serious mistake: California’s guide warns that a judge can take away property or order the hiding spouse to pay the other’s attorney’s fees.

If spousal support is likely to be an issue, our guide to how spousal support is calculated explains what judges weigh.

Step 6: How do you settle, or what happens at trial?

Most divorces end in a written settlement, not a trial. Spouses agree on property, debt, support, and parenting, write it into a settlement agreement, and submit it to the judge for approval. When they cannot agree on their own, there are three common routes before trial.

Many courts require mediation of custody disputes before a trial. Our guide to custody mediation explains how to prepare, and the collaborative divorce section of our types-of-divorce guide covers its one major risk: if collaboration fails, both lawyers are barred from representing you in court, so you hire new counsel.

Whatever the route, the agreement has to be complete. Leaving an issue out, such as holiday schedules or who pays the children’s health insurance, is the most common reason a “settled” divorce ends up back in court.

Step 7: How is a divorce finalized?

A divorce is final when a judge signs the final judgment (also called a decree) and any mandatory waiting period has passed. In an uncontested case, you submit the settlement agreement and a proposed judgment for the judge to sign, often without a hearing. In a contested case, the judgment follows the trial.

Two documents get confused here, and people often need one or the other later, for a name change, a mortgage, or remarriage:

• The divorce decree (or judgment) is the court’s full order, including the property, support, and custody terms. You get certified copies from the clerk of the court that handled the case.
• The divorce certificate is a short record that a divorce happened, without the terms. Where a state issues one, it comes from the state vital records office, not the court. The CDC’s Where to Write for Vital Records directory lists each state’s office and what divorce records it holds.

Once the judgment is final, update everything that still assumes you are married: beneficiary designations on retirement accounts and life insurance, your will, health insurance enrollment, and the deed or title to any property that changed hands.

How long does a divorce take?

An uncontested divorce commonly takes one to six months, and a contested divorce can take one to three years. The floor is set by your state’s waiting period: no divorce in California can finish in less than six months, however quickly you agree. The ceiling is set by conflict. Every open issue adds disclosure, negotiation, and court dates.

Our breakdown of how much a divorce costs includes typical timelines for uncontested, mediated, and litigated cases side by side.

How much does a divorce cost?

A divorce can cost as little as the filing fee or more than $30,000 per person, and the difference comes almost entirely from how much you disagree. Filing fees are set by each state and county. Attorney hours, expert witnesses, and custody evaluations are where costs climb, and those pile up only when there is something to fight about.

For working ranges by case type, the cost of mediation versus litigation, and ways to keep fees down, see our full guide to what a divorce costs.

Can you get a divorce without a lawyer?

Yes. Every state allows you to represent yourself, and many uncontested divorces are finished without a lawyer. Court self-help centers, statewide legal-aid sites, and online form tools exist precisely for this. California’s guide notes that it is possible to complete the process without a lawyer, but suggests hiring one, at least for those parts, if you have a lot of property or debt.

A lawyer is worth the cost when your spouse has one, when there is a business, pension, or real estate to divide, when custody is disputed, or when there is any history of abuse. Limited-scope help, where a lawyer reviews your paperwork or handles one hearing, is a middle option many family lawyers offer. Our guide to what a family lawyer does covers when you need one and how they charge.

What changes when you have children?

Children add a parenting plan, a child support order, and, in many states, a required parenting class. Couples with minor children are also excluded from the simplified “summary” divorce procedures some states offer.

What parents should expect:

• A parenting plan with a dated weekly schedule, holiday rotation, and exchange details. Our parenting plan template covers what courts look for.
• Child support calculated from your state’s guideline formula. Our explainer on how child support works walks through the three state models.
• A parenting class in many states before the divorce can be finalized. Our guide to court-approved parenting classes explains how to confirm your court accepts a course.
• Your state’s custody rules, which differ on presumptions and relocation. Our guide to custody laws by state summarizes all 50.

If custody is the main dispute, the process for asking the court to decide it runs alongside the divorce; our guide on how to file for custody covers the custody-specific filings. And before any of the legal steps, think about the conversation with your children; our guide on how to talk to kids about divorce gives age-by-age language.

Where do you find your state’s divorce forms?

Start with your state court’s self-help website or your statewide legal-aid site, which publish the official forms and step-by-step instructions for free. Avoid paid form sites until you have checked the free official ones; courts often require their own forms.

Here are the official or statewide resources for the ten most populous states:

If your state is not listed, search for your state’s name plus “court self-help divorce,” and look for a .gov address or your state’s LawHelp-network legal-aid site. Your county court’s self-help center can also tell you which local forms are required.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do I start the divorce process?
Confirm you meet your state’s residency requirement, then file a divorce petition with the family court in your county and pay the filing fee or request a fee waiver. After filing, have your spouse formally served by someone else, such as a friend over 18 or a process server. Your state court’s self-help website lists the exact forms.

Can I get a divorce if my spouse won’t sign?
Yes. In a no-fault divorce, one spouse’s decision is enough, and your spouse’s refusal to sign or respond does not stop the case. If your spouse is properly served and does not respond within the deadline, the court can proceed by default and decide the case based on your filings.

What is the fastest way to get a divorce?
Agree on every issue in writing and file an uncontested divorce. Even then, your state’s waiting period sets the minimum: six months in California, 90 days in Washington, and 20 days in Florida, for example. Couples without children who qualify for a simplified or summary procedure usually finish fastest.

Can I file for divorce online?
Often, yes. Many state courts accept electronic filing, and many statewide legal-aid sites offer free online interviews that prepare your forms. Check your court’s self-help page to see whether your county accepts e-filing before paying a commercial service.

What is the difference between a divorce decree and a divorce certificate?
The decree, or judgment, is the court’s full order, including property, support, and custody terms, and you get certified copies from the court clerk. A divorce certificate is a short record that the divorce happened; where a state issues one, it comes from the state vital records office.

Do I need a lawyer to get a divorce?
No. Every state lets you represent yourself, and many uncontested divorces finish without a lawyer. Hiring one is worth considering if your spouse has a lawyer, you have significant property or a business to divide, custody is disputed, or there is any history of abuse.

Reviewed by Nora Whitman, Managing Editor. Our research and review process explains how we source and verify legal content.